Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why is my ping so high in 1 Roblox game but not the other ones? I am also not laggy in my own private server. What is happening?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can count

I see through liars

Dune Awakening players call out unfair Landsraad mechanics and ornithopters ‘goomba stomping’ in PvP - Massively Overpowered

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What are some interests in sharing pictures of wives?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

How do great movie moments influence how people handle real-life moral dilemmas?

I don’t buy bullshit

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Make-A-Wish helps Tacoma cancer patient fulfill dream of giving back to fellow children - KOMO

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Why all the fuss about Trump’s policy initiatives? Isn’t he just trying to set a moral tone for the Republican Party to make America great again?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Tuesday Telescope: Lighting, sprites, and airglow over Central America - Ars Technica

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What do porn stars do when they get old?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What do you think of casting Emma Watson as the next James Bond?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I tried the 6-6-6 walking challenge for a week and my step count skyrocketed - Fit&Well

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

How an unnoticed pregnancy complication almost ended a young Staten Island mom’s life - SILive.com

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Pedro Pascal, Ariana Grande and Dua Lipa Sign Open Letter Supporting Federal Funding for LGBTQ+ Youth Suicide Prevention - Variety

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Scientists make stunning discovery hidden along 2,000-mile stretch of ancient Antarctic mountains: 'More dynamic … history than previously recognized' - Yahoo

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have a reading level above third grade

I can read

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”